I have finally mustered the strength to file a report.
I called the New Bern Police Department and after giving them the address of where the abuse occurred, they told me they only filed reports for offenses that occur in the city. I was advised to call the Sheriff's department.
I, starting to feel even more defeated because of the amount of phone numbers I was being given to call, decided that the Sheriff's department would be my last call. If this did not work. I would call it quits--for a third time.
I stated who I was and shared that I wanted to file a report for a sexual assault case. I was put on hold. When I heard a voice again on the phone, it was Deputy Lochlear. He was the reporting officer who gave me hope. He asked for my drivers license number, address where the offense occurred, the offender's name and relation to me, my birthday, eye/hair color, height and the type of sexual assault that occurred (in which I had to tell him fondling and sexual intercourse).
He asked me to tell him the story... the story that I have already flawlessly, purposefully and with great strength shared with so many. The story that I have posted on this blog in as much detail as I can bare without embarrassment. I had to tell a man I had never met what happened to me. I began to give as much detail as I could without being graphic. When I got to the part where I reported it in 1999, I shared with Deputy Lochlear that the sheriff came to my father's home and talked to us. Because two years had passed, we were advised not to pursue the case without any hard core evidence. I asked the deputy, "Is this a typical response given to victims from the sheriff?"
Deputy Lochlear replied, "There is a time to gather evidence in sexual assault cases. Time is really not on your side. Without hard core evidence, it is his word against yours..."
I replied, "Yes, I heard this before. That is exactly what the sheriff said when I initially reported this at the age of 18."
He responded, "Without a rape kit being done it is hard to prosecute. You can go to court, but it is he said, she said. It would be hard to prove."
At this point, I am tired of proving myself. Over and over and over telling family who are in denial that this happened to me. It is now 15 years since the abuse ended. Why would I still be talking about it? Why would I be an advocate? For those who didn't or don't believe me, would this even make sense?
Anyways, I now have a case number. Tomorrow I will have an investigator...
Please keep me in prayer.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.