SNAP Conference Comes to an End...

I feel so empowered now and I did not want to see the conclusion of the SNAP conference, which was also like a mini vacation for me... Before I left, I had the opportunity to be interviewed (again) for a different documentary by a sweet, soft-spoken woman name Kim.

I am looking forward to attending the conference again next year. I encourage anyone who is seeking healing from being abused by any type of clergy join me next year!

I met so many people who are just like me... a survivor. I am used to it being the other way around--being the only known survivor in the room. I hate that feeling too because I feel like people look at me and say, "poor girl"... But I am strong and determined more than ever now because of the inspiration I was exposed to at this conference.

Of course, the day could not end with 100% peace. On my way home from Virginia, I talked to my mother on the phone (not about the conference of course...) But, we trekked upon the topic of my abuser (again). I was hurt that she asked me, "If you had been sleeping with him for two years, why didn't you get pregnant? Did you use protection?" I have to admit that I know that God is not happy with me because I began to curse and scream and I basically allowed her to upset me. I told her that since she was so close to him, maybe he would be happy to tell her himself. She says, "I am the parent and you should be telling me." I said, "Well, it is a little too late now, isn't it?"

She became just as angry as I did and began to fuss about the domestic violence between her and my dad. Somehow, she always links everything that is negative in the world to my father. My abuse with a family member/pastor had absolutely nothing to do with her relationship with my dad. However, she tried to say that she took a lot of abuse "for" me... Was she kidding?? So, now she is blaming me for my father being abusive towards her... As if I don't blame myself enough for things that happened in my past.

So, the day ends with my mind racing... I am planning to take my life back and I determined to expose the pastor from Fayetteville. I will do whatever it takes--beginning with the police report my dad and I filed 10 years ago.

If Laurie Asplund can do it 35 years later, I can too.